The following is a guest post written by Chaffron’s husband, Pastor Casper Corder. Enjoy!
Let’s be honest, men, when a man loves he loves hard. It’s not considered manly to show too much weakness, gentleness, or sensitivity but when a man truly loves, you get to see an awesome wonder. Many people can’t relate to a loving man because they’ve never experienced that type of love from a man. More specifically, some women have never been truly loved, appreciated, or supported by a man. The absence of a father’s love is part of the reason some women can’t relate to a man’s love. Some women have not experienced a man’s love because they’ve only been attracted to the bad boy fantasy. There are many examples of bad love so I’ll avoid those for now. I’ll say this to women about a man’s love: regardless of your personal experiences, there are still good men with good love, so don’t give up on love.
Bootleg Love Is No Match For the Original
The way people describe love reminds me of a bootleg copy of a movie. A good movie is enjoyable when you watch it on film or in high-definition, but that same movie can be horrible when you watch the bootleg version. In the same way, love is great when experienced as God intends but horrible when we experience a cheap copy of the original. I don’t want to sound too preachy but many people are robbed of an opportunity to experience good love because they don’t know what it looks like. In the same way, a blockbuster hit can be ruined by purchasing a cheap copy of the movie. Love isn’t cheap, so pay full price for the real thing and stop accepting cheap replicas.
Continuing with the movie analogy, I love the movies. The surround sound in the theater is more immersive and a small home tv. It’s more convenient to stay at home but it’s not as dynamic of an experience. The surround sound can be compared to arms wrapped around you as you hear noise from all angles. Some people’s home TVs must be turned all the way up to hear anything happening in a movie. In the same way, true love is immersive and it’s not cheap. It’s worth waiting for your turn to experience the blockbuster hit of love.
A Real Man’s Love – A Reflection of Christ
Without going into the specifics, I’ve tried so hard to achieve success with love. I tried because I genuinely and deeply love. And yes, I’m all man. Nothing weak over here! When I commit, I’m prepared to go to the end of the earth. As a man, I know that’s the manliest thing I can do. Though my peers never showed the best example of a man’s love, I saw the example I needed in Jesus Christ. He gave his life for his bride. He literally went through Hell to save her. That is why I tried so hard; a man’s love should be a reflection of Christ’s love. That’s why I never wanted to give up. A man’s love makes a vow of “better or worse”. I often ask myself, “what’s worse than worse?!”
I’m a man that tried to love despite the situation. I needed to see the God of the bible save and heal my failed marriages. I needed to feel the love of that good God swooping into my mess to make a miracle. Why? Because men love, too. I needed to see him change the heart of my ex-wife. Why? Because men love, too. I needed to know how it felt to have an impossible situation turn around. I needed the person I loved to love me again. Why? because men love, too.
Everybody wants to “fall in love” but few can “stand the falls” that come with love. Love is complicated. Most people are in love with the idea of love. Others simply believe that love doesn’t love them. The majority of people like falling in love but nobody thinks falling is ever a good thing.
Hope For the Brokenhearted
Let me encourage someone that can relate to what I’m saying. Hopefully, you can find some hope in your difficult situation. God can heal and save any broken relationship. He can also keep you or bring you someone that’s better for you and better for His purpose in your life. I hope the following scripture gives you a spiritual boost to endure your difficult moments. This scripture has helped me tremendously. I am a witness that God is good and true love is good.
Perhaps I will share more details on my failures in love later, but just know after all I’ve experienced, I now know that God is good, love is great and people are crazy! Knowing that will help you not be surprised when God blesses you with the right person. Knowing that will help you not feel undeserving when someone is willing to give you love. Lastly, knowing that will help you absorb the blows of loving people.
Let’s look at a bible verse that I know can help you regardless of your current situation.
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
1. “Looking unto Jesus…”
One of our first problems in relationships, in difficult moments and isolation, is our inability to focus. We focus on the pain of the situation. We focus on the problem. We focus on the difficulties. But, if we understand God is Good, then it becomes easier to focus on Jesus and to pray to him to help us get through. But it’s hard to look at someone we don’t trust. I know God is good because of the many prayers he didn’t answer. My life is so much better now because God did not give me what I wanted because God is good! And I’m so thankful God didn’t give me what I was asking for. Let Jesus be your “author” because he always finishes what he starts. Look to Him!
2. “…The author and finisher of our faith…”
Our every blessing, promise, and provision starts and ends with Jesus. Jesus once asked his twelve disciples if they would leave him. (John 6:67) One of the twelve, Peter, said, “Who else can we go to because you (Jesus) have the words of eternal life”. If we learn to stand under the power of God’s word we can have the promise of eternal life. This is the power of Jesus being the author and the finisher of our faith. Since Jesus is your author, trust him as he writes the story of your life. Even allow Jesus to erase people off the pages of your story. This is so difficult because love compels you to run to the object of your affection, but remember point #1 – look to Jesus.
3. “…Who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross”
This final point is directly connected to point #1. Jesus remained focused. Jesus kept the finish line in view, even as he endured being whipped with glass and metal-tipped whips. Christ was able to endure so much; not by looking at the obstacle immediately in front of him, but by looking at the finish line. If you are going to succeed at enduring the wait for love, you have to keep your goal in your view. Focus on Jesus, because He is good and He is love.
When Jesus is your focus, you can endure a difficult marriage. You can wait on a mate. You can endure so many difficulties when you keep some joy before you. Our impatience is a direct result of our focus. When we focus on what we don’t have, what we aren’t getting, etc, life becomes so negative. Focus on what you have and what you are moving toward. And know at some point your path will perfectly intersect with a blessing with your name on it. Be encouraged!
Pastor Casper Corder is the pastor of The Proceeding Word Fellowship in Smyrna, TN, and an Emmy-winning audio engineer who teaches. He is also the doting husband of Chaffron and father to one daughter, Camaria. You can find Casper at PreachandPlay.com, where he provides media education, music tutorials, and ministry resources. When Casper isn’t preaching or playing, he enjoys fishing, anime, and long naps.
So,what are you focusing on in your journey toward true love? Do you have a testimony about finding it? Tell us below!