The following post is a special feature written by guest author, Anna Hall, of the Lemonade blog. Enjoy!
If you’re stuck in line after hitting the lottery of an 80% off sale at your favorite clothing and shoe store, that’s one thing. But feeling stuck in the world of singleness is a whole ‘nother thing. If this is you, I see you girl—I’m the one waving at you with my wedding-ringless hand. We’re both waiting in this crazy line for a date, beautiful flowers and a box of chocolates, or even just a nice smile from a single, godly guy. We want this vehicle called “relationship” to start rolling, but the gas gauge is set on ‘E’.
Like most of us, it’s not that you’re skipping out on your prayers to God about wanting to be in a relationship. It’s just that there surely must be a recall on that defective mic that you’ve been using to get His attention. Okay, this isn’t true. But it can definitely feel like God’s listening ears have turned deaf for some of us on this matter, and our feeling stuck and lonely can make some of us restless and begin to take matters into our own hands.
Do Not Settle
Let’s be honest. Depending on where you live, worship, and work, the good, single guys seem to either be already taken or have sprayed themselves with some kind of invisible repellent. So, the urge to just close your eyes and pick the first eligible bachelor with a pulse that has escaped the showering of this invisible spray seems logical. But no matter how much someone can fancy it up, this is called “settling.” And the other side of settling for God’s best for us can be truly detrimental—lots of heartaches, headaches, and breakups, just to name a few things.
Before you allow your feelings to be your guide, don’t forget that there are many scriptures in God’s word that instruct us to wait. One of which is the second part of Habakkuk 2:3, and it says:
“…If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.”Habakkuk 2:3
My friend, I get it. The idea of waiting in this fast-paced world seems like cruel and unusual punishment, and that torture can seem even crueler as we watch our friends and others around us living their best, coupled lives as we continue to eat another dinner of leftovers alone at home in our PJs. But despite all things single, God’s truth doesn’t change.
What To Do While You Wait
Waiting doesn’t necessarily mean doing nothing until what you want happens. It means using the time that you have to live and not just exist. There can be an illusion that you can’t really flourish until you have the marriage, the kids, and the house with the white picket fence. But this again is only an illusion. While you’re navigating through this life as a single, use this time to focus your attention on growing your relationship with Christ, enjoying a hobby or two, or working on a bad habit that you have developed. In other words, use this time wisely. I know, I know. You’re probably tired of hearing this kind of advice, but this time that you have now is a precious gift that you may not get again.
“Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”James 1:14-15
James 1:14-15 gives us all fair warning: “Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.” Don’t allow your desires to lead you outside of God’s will and provision for you. God’s no’s and waits are meant for our protection and not meant to be restrictive. And beware. An open door very well may be a God-given opportunity. Or, it may be disobedience craftily disguised as an opportunity. The closer that we walk with the Lord, the more that we’ll be able to tell the difference.
Satan and the glitz and glamour of this world can aid in leading us blindly into the trap of a less than life that can take a lifetime to battle with the consequences to become free. Instead of settling and justifying not-so-good choices, how about drawing closer to the One that loves you most…Jesus. He can provide you with the best life that you can ever have—even while you’re single 😊.
Are You Ready For A Relationship?
So, while you’re still waiting in this single filed line (no pun intended…LOL!!), take some time to consider these questions:
- The bible says to be anxious for nothing. Are you too anxious to be in a relationship?
- Are you ready for a relationship? Age has nothing to do with it. Have you allowed God to work on you so that you can be prepared for a relationship when that time comes?
- How’s your relationship with Christ? Do you spend quality time with Him on a regular basis?
- Is God truly the Lord of your life? Do you get with Him first and wait on His answer for matters concerning your life? And how do you react when He doesn’t give you what you want?
- If you’re in a relationship now, does that person line up with what a godly man should be, or are you justifying and settling just to have someone?
A Word of Encouragement for Singles
God loves us way too much to let us have whatever we want when it’s outside of His will or timing. He knows what we can handle and when we can handle it. And know this. God doesn’t love us less because we’re single, and here are some scriptures to remind us of His love for us:
- The LORD your God is with you; His power gives you victory. The LORD will take delight in you, and in His love He will give you new life. He will sing and be joyful over you… -Zephaniah 3:17
- How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! -Psalm 139:17
- Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:39
- I will answer them before they even call to me. While they are still talking about their needs, I will go ahead and answer their prayers! -Isaiah 65:24
- For this is how God loved the world: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16
If your loneliness is getting you down during this season of love, look up to the One that loves you the most. His love is sweeter than any box of chocolates, and it won’t fade and perish like a bouquet of flowers. His love is everlasting and vibrant. Now, who wouldn’t want a love like that?!!