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Welcome Back, Mack: Learning the Art of Adjusting

Welcome Back, Mack: Learning the Art of Adjusting

Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.

Brene Brown

Here I am, once again, after an unexpected hiatus. Blogging is hard. Adulting is hard. LIFE is HARD. But it is not invulnerable to conquest. You may or may not have wondered where I’ve been since I haven’t posted a while. Life has dealt me a whirlwind of cards in 2019.

The Beginning and End of Eras

Going into 2019, I found myself almost starting from scratch planning my wedding, and moving the date up from May to April. Staffing shortages were at a peak in the midst of one of the worst projects I’ve ever worked on (by the way, it’s still going on). In early spring, my paternal grandmother’s health took a turn for the worst. Her health had been declining for quite some time, but this time she didn’t battle back. I had my bridal shower on March 30, and she passed away on April 1.

Twenty-six days later, I got married. Translation: I became a wife, bonus mom, and first-lady of a growing new congregation in one day. Needless to say, my life has become…a bit messy. My responsibilities grew exponentially, but my capacity didn’t. I looked down afterward and saw I still only had two hands. I didn’t get that 25th hour in the day I so desperately needed.

Honestly, I have struggled to adjust. I know I can’t be all things to all people, but how can be what I need to the people I am obligated to, and be who I need to be for myself at the same time? I don’t have it figured out. At all. I have floundered trying to manage my home, do the work I HAVE to do, and make strides toward the work I actually enjoy. It has been depressing at times, to be completely honest.

Battling Back

I have been taking a holistic approach to getting my life in order. Two weeks ago, my husband tried the keto diet for seven days, and I did it in solidarity. Now, I’m not one for diets, especially not ones that cut out entire food groups. It was difficult, and not something I’d maintain long term, LOL, but it helped me work toward an important goal: changing my relationship with food. It also renewed my sense of discipline and motivation. I am more hopeful that I actually can reach my goals.

Working on my physical health spurred me to work on my mental and spiritual health. Being a big planner, I sat down and devised a weekly life plan. I struggle with how limited my time is outside of work. Because I value time so highly, I found myself cramming every waking moment with my personal to-dos, hoping to see some sort of traction in the areas that matter to me. It wasn’t working. So, instead of grasping at straws and setting unreasonable goals for my self each day, I am trying to dedicate each day of the week to a different focus (i.e., cleaning, writing, planning, etc.). And I’m not going to pressure myself to do anything else. Last week was my first week trying it out, and it was a success. I actually found myself accomplishing more than what I plan.

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black woman self care

I also started a wellness journal. Using the vertical layout of an extra Happy Planner allows me to divide my journaling into three areas: food diary, mood tracker, and a scripture of the day. I also record my weekly weigh-ins in this journal. I used to write in my diary on a regular basis, but…I’m a writer. I am verbose, and I don’t usually have the energy left to write long letters once I actually have the time at night. My wellness journal allows me to at least keep a high-level record of what I ate (accountability), how I felt (reflection), and what I should set my mind on (encouragement). So far, it has been enjoyable to have that daily check-in with myself.

All in all, these landmarks in my life have created precious memories and drastic changes. Some of those changes are happening in me. I am determined to see the full manifestation of my destiny, and this is just part of that journey.

What tips practical things do you do to keep your life balanced and check? Do tell! Drop a comment below.

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  • Enjoyed reading this post. I might steal your idea about planning each day to do one task! It’s all a balancing act and we are all trying to figure it out!

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